March 18 - Forgive Mom and Dad Day

Posted on March 18, 2019

This holiday is supposed to remind kids and parents that nobody is perfect, that everybody makes mistakes, and that everybody needs forgiveness once in a while.

That's nice. I like the fact that this "holiday" might encourage some families to talk to one another more, to share their feelings more honestly, and to apologize to and forgive one another...

But I noticed one sentence in a holiday write up: someone wrote, "Parents don't have a guide book."

And I thought to myself, well, that's exactly wrong, because parents have access to WAY TOO MANY guide "books."

First, there are all the actual parenting books. But these books don't agree with one another: Some books say to set a firm schedule for sleeping; other books say to find the rhythms that fit the family. Some books say to schedule a baby's feedings; other books say to feed on demand. Some urge parents to calmly use physical discipline such as a swat on the butt, others say parents should never hit their kids.

Keep your child away from germs. / Don't keep your kid in too clean an environment - she/he needs exposure to dirt and other yick.

Closely monitor and limit screen time. / Kids need unfettered (although age appropriate) access to the tools of our culture - so that means smart phones, tablets, computers.

Never fight with your partner in front of the kids. / Authenticity and modeling appropriate couple-fighting behavior is awesome: kids should see others disagree, compromise, argue, and make up.

With all the different parenting books saying all the bajillions of things that they do, it turns out that a lot of the advice in Book A is counter to advice in Books B and C and D. There are way too many parenting books, and they can't all be right!!

Aside from actual books, there is a ton of parenting advice - much of it contradictory - in documentaries, TV specials, magazine and newspaper articles; on websites, Facebook, and other social media; on offer from relatives and friends and teachers and doctors and nurses and strangers and everyone else under the sun!

So, yes, forgive Mom and Dad, because they were super confused about which advice to follow, which advice to ignore, and which advice to argue against.